I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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