So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
