I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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