She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
