38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
