woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That accounts for only three of the penises
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
