11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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