Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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