I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
