Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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