do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
