TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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