I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
did you just send me my own nude
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
