in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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