I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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