Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize