If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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