The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
