Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize