He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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