someone threw a dead crab at me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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