Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize