girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i dont even know how to be here
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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