this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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