i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
