were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
