im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
