i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
