Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
