dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
