big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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