you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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