is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
