I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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