Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
