No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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