i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
