This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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