I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
