Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
