Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
