her vagine was all disorganized.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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