i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
