Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
