apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
