Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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