No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
