I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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