I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
