i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sext me about skeletons
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
