I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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