Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize