For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
