ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
