Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
