If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
