found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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