home. puking in laundry basket.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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