I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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